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October 31, 2003

Georgie Was a Bad Boy

"Don’t make me come in there, Little Mister. You have lied for the last time. Now you march right out here and apologize. If I’ve told you once, I told you a thousand time, do not lie. No one likes a liar.
Now stand up straight. Hey you, get that smirk off your face. Now say it, and mean it."

"I’m sorry, Mommy. Dick and Don made me do it. They said no one would find out. They said we could do whatever we wanted. No one would catch us."

"All right Georgie, now apologize to the American people."

"Do I Have to, Mommy""

"Yes, you do, Georgie. Now do it, or there's no 'you know what' for you tonight. And stop calling me Mommy. You know Barbara doesn't like it."

"OK Mommy. Oops, I mean Laura. Here I go."

"My fellow Americans, I told you some fibs, and Laura said to say I was sorry. So, when I said, ‘Iraq is expanding and improving facilities that were used for the production of biological weapons,’ I was lying. When I said, ‘Our intelligence officials estimate that Saddam Hussein had the materials to produce as much as 500 tons of sarin, mustard and VX nerve agent,’ I was also lying. And when I said, ‘We are learning more as we interrogate or have discussions with Iraqi scientists and people within the Iraqi structure, that perhaps he destroyed some, perhaps he dispersed some. And so we will find them,’ I was lying then, too. And when I said, ‘We'll find them. It'll be a matter of time to do so,’ I was not telling the truth."

"Mommy, uh Laura, do I have to tell everything""

"Yes, you do Georgie, dear."

"Oh, alright. But you promise I'll get a little ‘you know what,’ tonight"'"

"Yes Georgie."

"Yippee!"

"Well, when I said, ‘I'm not surprised if we begin to uncover the weapons program of Saddam Hussein -- because he had a weapons program,’ I was fibbing. And when I said the tax cuts would create job, well it really was just so my friend would like me better. They get all the money, and they aren’t giving it to anyone. And when I said I was a ‘Compassionate Conservative,’ I was preveriscating about that, too. I don’t really give a damn about poor people or old people or people of color or anyone who isn't a good Christian like me. I sure don’t understand why they complain all the time. Don't they know this is the freest and best country in the world? Anyway, I’m sorry, American People, I hope you’ll forgive me. I really like this White House you gave me and all the neat toys I get to route out evil-doers and I hope you'll let me stay here for a while."

"OK, Georgie, now go up to the Lincoln bedroom and play until supper is ready."

"Yes, Mommy."

Johnny Peaceseed