You might be a Hypochristian
Notes from the dark side of Christianity

Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek, that the meek shall inherit  the earth, that we must help those in need, and that it is easier for a camel to slip through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to reach the kingdom of heaven. Jesus’ teachings did not ask for vengeance, retribution, nor to seek justification for wars, nor to turn away  from those who suffer, nor to perpetuate injustice and inequality. In fact, Jesus’ teachings were a radical departure from much of the  harshness of the Old Testament (vengeance will be mine sayeth the  lord, an eye for an eye, God’s slaying of innocents to make a point, etc.).

I believe that the degree to which one adheres to Jesus’ teachings is the only litmus test can be used to determine whether a person is truly a  Christian. If one’s beliefs are more in alignment with Old Testament  teachings, then one is not a true Christian, but something else. If one attends church regularly, but does not act in accordance with  Jesus’ teachings, one is not a Christian, Social Christian, a wannabe. If one does not attend church nor follow the tenets of Christianity then one is a Jack Christian (as in Jack Mormon).  If  one claims to believe in Jesus’ teachings but exhibits actions motivated by self-aggrandizement, revenge, retribution, and venality, resulting in the suffering and death of others, or condones  such acts, then one is not a Christian at all. I would call such an individual a  hypocritical Christian or Hypochristian. With these qualifications in mind, it becomes easy to determine whether one is  on the “path” of Christianity or Hypochristianity. I have no quarrel with those who claim to be Christian and whose actions show they are not following a Christian "path". It is the Hypochristians whom I distain.

These Hypochristians have given Christianity a bad name in  much of the Muslim world. These Hypochristians have most exploited the weak and helpless in America and abroad. These  Hypochristians have brought more suffering to mankind than any other cause, from the Crusades to the Inquisition, to the slaughters of the twentieth and twenty-first century. A short list of Hypochristians in the last one hundred years would have to start with members of the Ku Klux Klan and include many leaders of the Evangelical Right, such as Pat Robertson, Ralph Reed, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson and Jim Baker. Many world leaders from Adolph Hitler, Mussolini, Pinochet, Ngo Dinh Diem, Marcos, Somoza, to George W. Bush were and are true Hypochristians, and thus unworthy of our  respect. They are men to be reviled as bringers of pestilence, famine and war to the peoples of the world.

As an aid to help good Christians unmask these unsavory hypocrites, I have compiled the following list of Hypochristian characteristics and personifications:

You might be a Hypochristian if you say life is precious in an unborn child, but support the death penalty. (George W. Bush)

You might be a Hypochristian if you say that you are a “Compassionate  Conservative”, but you oversaw the largest number of executions of  any sitting governor in US history (George W.Bush).

You might be a Hypochristian if you introduced legislation named ‘Healthy Forests Initiative’ and ‘Clear Skies Initiative’, but worked to ensure that environmental laws were gutted by the provisions of these policies. (George W. Bush)

You might be a Hypochristian if you send soldiers to die to protect the lies coming from your mouth and turned away those who suffered  from your actions. (George Bush’s Iraq War lies and the rejection of  Cindy Sheehan)

You might be a Hypochristian if you speak about compassion for Terri Schiavo, but condone the use of torture and abuse of those that you have imprisoned. (George W. Bush)

You might be a Hypochristian if you go to church and pray regularly, but are responsible for the deaths of 1800 Americans, tens of  thousands of Iraqis, and the maiming of tens of thousands more. (George W. Bush)

You might be a Hypochristian if you say you are bringing freedom to Iraq, but are unwilling to attend any of the funerals of those whom  your orders caused to die. (George W. Bush)

You might be a Hypochristian if you profess to be a Christian, but  you oversaw the systematic abuse of the citizens of third world counties by the aggressive pursuit of  treaties and international agreements that caused the subjugation of millions of people in sweatshops and prison/forced labor factories. (GATT, NAFTA, WTO  agreements – Bill Clinton)

You might be a Hypochristian if you are pious in church but work diligently to repress the rights of citizens to due process and legal representation. (John Ashcroft - Patriot Act)

You might be a Hypochristian if you say you support the constitution, but pray for liberal supreme court justices to die so that they can be replaced by right wing ideologues. (Pat Robertson)

You might be a Hypochristian if you put a ‘Support Our Troops’ magnet  on your car, but don’t speak out about Bush’s immoral, illegal war. (Look around)

You might be a Hypochristian if you are George W. Bush, Dick Cheney,  Dennis Hastert, Tom Delay, Bill Clinton, John Kerry, Condaleeza Rice, John Bolton, Jeb Bush, George H.W. Bush, Pat Robertson, Ralph Reed, Jimmy Swaggart, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Jim Baker Pope Benedict  XVI, and many more to be named in future indictments for crimes against humanity.

Johnny Peaceseed