Quotes for the Revolution
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A Dark View
-- James Branch Cabell
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.
-- Bertrand Russell
The world is governed more by appearances than by realities, so that it is fully as necessary to seem to know something as to know it.
-- Daniel Webster
Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
-- Elias Root Beadle
Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.
-- Mark Twain
Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors.
-- Ambrose Bierce
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
-- Mark Twain
Living with a saint is more grueling than being one.
--Robert Neville
There is danger when a man throws his tongue into high gear before he gets his brain a--going.
-- C. C. Phelps
All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands.
-- Saint Patrick
It's a dog--eat--dog world out there, and I'm wearing Milkbone underwear.
-- Steven Wright
It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that English is the only major language in which I is capitalized; in many other languages You is capitalized and the i is lower case.
-- Sydney J. Harris
Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a number. You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and another number.
-- James Estes
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
-- Henry Kissinger
When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes. The dog has certain relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
-- Robert Pirsig
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.
-- Franklin P. Jones
Agnosticism simply means that a man shall not say he knows or believes that for which he has no grounds for professing to believe.
--Thomas Huxley
I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose.
-- Clarence Darrow
An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.
-- Fulton J. Sheen
The mind of the bigot is like the pupil of the eye; the more light you pour upon it, the more it will contract.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
We believe at once in evil, we only believe in good upon reflection. Is this not sad"
-- Madame Dorothée Deluzy
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is kicking you in the seat of the pants.
-- Walter Winchell
The cynic is one who never sees a good quality in a man, and never fails to see a bad one. He is the human owl, vigilant in darkness and blind to light, mousing for vermin, and never seeing noble game.
-- Henry Ward Beecher
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
-- H. L. Mencken
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
-- Oscar Wilde
There are two tragedies in life. One is not get your heart's desire. The other is to get it.
-- George Bernard Shaw
I don't know if there are men on the moon, but if there are they must be using the earth as their lunatic asylum.
-- George Bernard Shaw
To err is human, but when the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it.
-- Josh Jenkins
Insanity is hereditary: you can get it from your children.
-- Sam Levenson
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
-- Mark Twain
What men usually ask for when they pray to God is, that two and two may not make four.
-- Russian Proverb
Remember: Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.
-- Dave Butler
They say that kings are made in the image of God. If that's what He looks like, I feel sorry for God.
--Frederick the Great
The trouble with born--again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.
--Herb Caen
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
--Napoleon
I have found that the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want, and then advise them to do it.
--Harry Truman
If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
--Chinese proverb
A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey. "It is out on loan," the teacher replied. At that moment, the donkey brayed loudly inside the stable. "But I can hear it bray, over there." "Whom do you believe," asked Nasrudin, "me or a donkey""
-- Unknown
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next.
-- Franklin P. Jones
He hadn't a single redeeming vice.
-- Oscar Wilde
I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I've got hundreds of people waiting to abuse me.
--Bill Murray, "Ghostbusters"
I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.
-- Clarence Darrow
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.
-- Steven Wright
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit,
He must be a communist.
And a beard and long hair,
Must be a pacifist.
What's in that pipe that he's smoking"
-- Arlo Guthrie
Writing is easy: all you do is sit staring at the blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on your forehead.
-- Gene Fowler
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
--W.C. Fields
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you're still a rat.
--Lily Tomlin
The first 90 percent of the program accounts for the first 90 percent of the development time. The remaining 10 percent of the program accounts for the other 90 percent of the development time.
--Tom Cargill
"Should any political party attempt to abolish Social Security, unemployment insurance, and eliminate labor laws and farm programs, you would not hear of that party again in our political history. There is a tiny splinter group, of course, that believes you can do
these things. Among them are... a few Texas oil millionaires, and an occasional politician or business man from other areas. Their number is negligible and they are stupid."
--President Dwight D. Eisenhower, November 8, 1954
\ We trained hard... but every time we were beginning to form up into teams, we would be reorganized. I was to learn latter in life that we tend to meet any new situation by reorganizing... and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency, and demoralization.
--Petronius Arbitor